i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
