Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He? As in you personified your dick?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
