it wasn't lemon gatorade
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
