I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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