Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My nipple is on Facebook.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
All I want is dick and wine.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
