Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Let's get the cat blown out
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
