can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
