It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
