For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
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