I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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