47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
