i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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