I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
