We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
