so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
