i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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