I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I wear drunk well.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
