Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize