She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
