but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
