We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
