2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize