I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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