That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
