True but thats because hes a fetus.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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