Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
