He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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