dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
