can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I can't put those talents on a resume
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
