the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
