ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
