i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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