you guys were way drunker than both of me
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
