you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
