he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
nutella sex= disaster
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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