I accidentally had phone sex last night
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
