I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
MIDGETS
????
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
