why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Text me some of your sweat
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