Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
did i walk over a car last night?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
