wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
They took my balls.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
