Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize