yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
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