we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
