it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
