I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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