she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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