The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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