I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
