Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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