Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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