wakey wakey hands off snakey
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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