Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
