Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
