Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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