So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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