I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
