Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just had sex on a roof
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
