Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
