can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
