Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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