Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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