i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
did i walk over a car last night?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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