Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
